1. All successful relationships require some work. – They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves.  They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts.  Open communication and honesty is the key.
2. Most of the time you get what you put in. – If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding.  It’s a simple practice that works.
3. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. – Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will create one for you.
4. There is a purpose for everyone you meet. – Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you.  Learn to see and accept the differences between these people, and carry on accordingly.
5. We all change, and that’s okay. – Our needs change with time.  When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing.  Sometimes it just means you stopped living your life their way.  Don’t apologize for it.  Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.
6. You are in full control of your own happiness. – If your relationship with yourself isn’t working, don’t expect your other relationships to be any different.  Nobody else in this world can make you happy.  It’s something you have to do on your own.  And you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else.  If you feel that it’s your partner’s fault, think again, and look within yourself to find out what piece is missing.  Your partner can never ‘complete’ you because you are already whole.  The longing for completion that you feel inside comes from being out of touch with who you are.
7. Forgiving others helps YOU. – Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
8. You can’t change people; they can only change themselves. – Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.  If there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t.  If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.
9. Heated arguments are a waste of time. – The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.  And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don’t let your anger get the best of you.  Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.
10. You are better off without some people. – When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them. It may hurt for a little while, but it’ll be OK. You’ll be OK, and far better off in the long run.
11. Small gestures of kindness go a long way. – Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get.  Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by making small gestures to show your appreciation and affection.  Remember, making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Your kindness and gratitude matters.
12. Even the best relationships don’t last forever. – People don’t live forever.  Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.  And remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”  ― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

If you search Ahcee Flores on Facebook, it will give you 40 results, see top three of them:

Yesterday, Ahcee Flores posted a comment on Seven dead, severe damage in Visayas’ quake-hit areas in Yahoo! Philippines’ news story

“Let us all pray……. Na matuloy ang tsunami para maraming bisaya ang mamatay, para mabawasan ang mga baduy sa pilipinas.”

Rough translation:  “Let us all pray… that the tsunami would happen so many people from the Visayas would die and we could lessen the number of “low-class” citizens in the Philippines.”

Then she again posted.

“Di bale guys, kundi man natuloy ang tsunami ngayon, wag tayo mag alala marami pa namang pagkakataon na darating matutuloy din yan, just keep on praying.”

Rough translation: “Don’t worry guys, if the tsunami won’t happen today, there are chances of it happening. It will happen. Just keep on praying.”

In just a matter of minutes, Ahcee Flores became the trending topic in Twitter, Facebook and Yahoo. If this is what she wants, there you have it — popularity and HATE! Add twelve thousand facebook likers on Kill Ahcee Flores Movement Page.

While, the whole Filipino nation is praying for the safety of Visayans, an alleged Filipino showed how rude she was by posting insensitive comments. Ahcee Flores, I hope and pray that you may continue to live a peaceful and happy life now that Filipinos and the whole world is hunting you down because of your stupid comment or joke! May God Bless you!

Lord God please keep my Mom and brother safe in Dumarao, Capiz. Keep my family, relatives, friends and classmates in Iloilo away from tsunami and earthquakes. Please protect and guide ALL the people of Cebu, Bacolod, Iloilo, Negros, Capiz and the rest of the places affected by earthquake.  May your grace and mercy be with us always and with those we love. Mama Mary cover us with your blue mantle of protection and pray for us and with us to your son Jesus Christ. AMEN.

-0-

A Prayer after an Earthquake

Creator God, at times such as this,
when we realised that the ground beneath our feet is not as solid as we had imagined, we plead for your mercy.

As the things we have built crumble,
we know too well how small we truly are on this ever-changing, ever-moving,
fragile planet we call home.

Yet you have promised never to forget us.
Do not forget us now.

Today, so many people are afraid.
They wait in fear of the next tremor.
They hear the cries of the injured amid the rubble.|
They roam the streets in shock at what they see.
And they fill the dusty air with wails of grief and the names of missing dead.

Comfort them, O God, in this disaster.
Be their rock when the earth refuses to stand still,
and shelter them under your wings when homes and offices no longer exist.

Embrace in your arms those who died so suddenly.
Console the hearts of those who mourn,
and ease the pain of bodies on the brink of death.

Pierce, too, our hearts with compassion, we who watch from afar,
as our friends and relatives experience misery upon misery.

Move us to act swiftly this day,
to give generously every day, to work for justice always,
and to pray unceasingly for those without hope.

And once the shaking has ceased,
the images of destruction have stopped filing the news,
and our thoughts return to life’s daily rumblings,
let us not forget that we are all your children
and they, our sisters and brothers.

We are all the work of your hands.
For though the mountains leave their place and the hills be tossed to the ground,
your love shall never leave us and your promise of peace will never be shaken.

Lord, show us your mercy and love,

And grant us your salvation.

Our help is in the name of the Lord,

Who made heaven and earth,

Blessed be the name of the Lord,

Now and forever. Amen.

I’m going to give you a special gift today.

For some weeks now, I’ve been writing to you about the awesome power of our words. Our words shape our destiny. Our words bring down blessing or bring down curse. So for Valentines, I wrote “Faith Declarations” for three groups of people…

Faith Declaration #1: For married people.

Faith Declaration #2: For singles who want to get married.

Faith Declaration #3: For singles who want happy celibacy.

If you’re separated or widowed, you decide if you belong to #2 or #3.

Here They Are…

Friend, I invite you to proclaim whatever Faith Declaration fits your present situation now. I invite you to place your hands over your chest, say the words out loud, and claim God’s blessing for your life. Say them everyday until they become your reality!

Faith Declaration #1: For Married Couples

“God is blessing my marriage. My marriage is growing stronger. My marriage is getting more blessed. God is using me to bless my spouse. I give my spouse happiness, blessing, and strength. I lift up my spouse. I encourage my spouse. Through me, my spouse sees God’s love. Through me, my spouse experiences God’s faithfulness. And God is blessing my spouse. My spouse is my best friend, my support, my wisdom, my encourager, and my lover. And Love is increasing. Service for one another is growing. Forgiveness, humility, and understanding flow like a river in my marriage. Old wounds are being healed. Bonds between us are getting stronger and deeper.”

Faith Declaration #2: For Singles Who Want To Get Married

“I’m happily single. Because God is with me, I’m complete. I’m whole. I’m happy! And God is guiding me to my best path. God’s goodness and blessings follow me all the days of my life. He is guiding my decisions. And I believe I’m being prepared for marriage. I’m being trained for parenthood. I’m not just searching for the right partner, I’m also preparing myself to be the right partner for my future spouse. By becoming the best person I can become, I’m attracting that special person into my life. My future is in God’s big hands. He is now filling my future with abundance, joy, and love.”

Faith Declaration #3: For Singles Who Want To Be Celibate

“I’m happily single. Because God is with me, I declare that I’m complete. I’m whole. I’m happy! And God is guiding me to my best path. God’s goodness and blessings follow me all the days of my life. He is guiding my decisions. And I believe I’m being prepared for greater service as a single person. I’m being trained to be a parent to a larger family. God has blessed me with the greatest friends. I’m no longer searching for the right partner because I’ve made Christ my lifelong companion. By becoming the best person I can become, I’m attracting so many wonderful blessings into my life. My future is in God’s big hands. He is now filling my future with abundance, joy, and love.”

PRAYER OF LOVE

Dear Lord:

Because love is patient: Help me to be slow to judge, but quick to listen, hesitant to criticize, but eager to encourage, remembering your endless patience with me.

Because love is kind: Help my words to be gentle and my actions to be thoughtful. Remind me to smile and to say “Please” and “Thank You” because those little things still mean so much.

Because love does not envy or boast, and it is not proud: Help me have a heart that is humble and sees the good in others. May I celebrate and appreciate all that I have and all that I am, as well as doing the same for those around me.

 Because love is not rude or self-seeking: Help me to speak words that are easy on the ear and on the heart. When I’m tempted to get wrapped up in my own little world, remind me there’s a great big world out there full of needs and hurts.

Because love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs: Help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me. When I want to hold onto a grudge, gently help me release it so I can reach out with a hand of love instead.

Because love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth: Help me stand up for what is right and good. May I defend the defenseless, and help the helpless. Show me how I can make a difference.Because love always protects and always trusts: Help me to be a refuge for those around me.When the world outside is harsh and cold, may my heart be a place of acceptance and warmth.

Finally, because love always perseveres: Help my heart continually beat with love for You and others. AMEN.

Here is the meaning of her name that I got online. Your name of Summer makes you a capable leader and organizer. You find it difficult to be in positions of subservience or where you are taking advice from others. You desire the best and want to be successful and financially prosperous and are willing to give practical help where it is deserved. You are ambitious and practical and often look at things for their financial viability. Fairness is important to you and you could be drawn to the justice system. This name makes you too forceful at times, limiting the natural feminine qualities of tenderness and tact.

Your name of Abrienne creates a desire for association with people and new experiences. This name has given you a gregarious personality and a quick-thinking, creative, and versatile nature, but one that is very emotional. You desire change and travel and would enjoy opportunities that allowed you to be creative and to act independently, rather than to conform to system and routine.

I visited Sab for like 8 to 10 times only during her first year and I never carried or played with her, I’m scared that I might unconsciously hurt or mishandled her maybe because I find her too tiny (I think?!) or maybe I don’t have that nursing and child care skills but don’t get me wrong, I do love kids!  As far as I can remember, the last time I saw her was last July 2010. She still can’t manage to walk or stand alone and she loved to watch Elmo and Barney on you tube. Five months after my last visit, I’m expecting that when she sees me again she might freak out, run fast and hide. Or she might cry and avoid me. But as I walked in to their living room, I saw her standing beside the stairs. I then said “Hi Sab!” she paused and looked at me for a while and so I thought I scared her but I was really surprised that she runs towards me extending her arms and gave me a warm hug. We sat on the couch while waiting for her Mom to come downstairs. I took some pictures and she kept on grabbing my bag and taking all my stuff out. From there, every weekend, I would come by to have dinner at their place and Sab never fail to amaze me in her own sweet and smart way.

Sab is too smart for her age. There are things she did that would shock her parents and me. Some two-year old kids would play after eating lunch or dinner but Sab is different. She will give her used plate and drinking glass to “Nanay” or her “Kuya Kian”. Then her Mom once told her that the pictures at the altar are her grandmother or Lola Mama who died four years ago. And if you ask her “Sab, where is Lola Mama?”  She will get her Lola Mama’s three pictures from the altar one at a time.  Look at it then she sign of the cross and pray. Kiss the pictures and hold it up above her head then turn around slowly like she’s dancing with her Grandma’s pictures. After that she placed the pictures at the couch or floor then act sad and crying.  And she keeps on doing that everyday even no one asks her. She can also count up to 20 while some kids same as her age can only count up to 10. Sab is a keen observer, she will return things like remote control, shoes or slippers same exact position and place from where she took it. Very organize and detail oriented at a very young age.

I call her “My Little Chatterbox” because she’s talkative, lively and full of energy.  I took a 15 minute uncut/unedited video of her busy talking and playing. I hope she didn’t get it from me, considering that I’m a constant and loud talker as well (LOL). Well, everyone she comes across can’t believe at her age. I’m not exaggerating but she’s really smart, talented and amazing!

Today! Sab is celebrating her 2nd birthday and I created a simple gift for my adorable and amazing god daughter (inaanak) and for her family – Sissy Sachee, Jay-R & Kian!  A slideshow of her, growing up from zero to two…

This is for you….. Our Bratty, Beautiful and  Sweet Princess SAB. I love you and I will always be here for you!

Happy & Blessed!!!

Teves-Ventura Family

My god daughter and my little chatterbox – SAB

SAB is wearing “my favorite Ninang Birthday Shirt”

Meg & Me

Bottoms UP!

My Team

Jan 12 —– Teves-Ventura Family gave me a Pre-Birthday Dinner Celebration – The siblings that GOD forgot to give me. I love you Sissy Sachee, Bro Jeh, Kuya kian and my little Chatterbox-our Princess SAB!

Jan 14 —– Bottom’s Up Celebration! Had a great time especially when you are surrounded with funny and wonderful people like them! Thank you so much Ruby, Jho, Itel, Maven, Ben, Mark & James.

Jan 16 —– The Big Day! Dinner at Teves-Ventura Family! Sab is wearing a red shirt with our picture printed on it. And a surprise video from Meg, Sachee and Jeh!

Jan 21 —– My Team surprised me with bouquet of red roses and chocolate cake.

GOD, thank you for this wonderful year! All five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes of it!And for my family, friends and loved ones. For all the small miracles and healing. For the people I’ve met and have touched my life this year.

And I’m thankful to you… my blog readers and to the 163 blog subscribers… who come back and read of my ups and downs of life, and leave me thoughtful and inspiring comments, or don’t and just choose to read and be anonymous. So thank you for reading.

Thank you also for nominating Bottled Emotion for the Kreativ Blog Award- blogs is Christ centered, encouraging, uplifting, and presented very creatively. You will definitely be blessed after having visited these blogs!

I want to thank my sissy in heart Sachee for making this video. I love you so much

http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/openTheBox?sendevent=4d6a6b314e546b784e54413d0d0a&sb=1

And above All thank you because I am free to live a life of love!

Such was the case of Cecilia.

Cecilia, not her real name, had a great job, a nice house and everything she needed. She was, though, not a kind person for several reasons that became obvious once you got to know her.

The first thing that became obvious was her lack of compassion for others who were not as fortunate as she was. She would not help anyone, nor would she even begin to express any empathy for anyone’s plight. Her view was that they were just plain lazy or that they were not deserving because they had personal problems.

But, then came the fateful day. Her husband got into financial difficulty, severe difficulty, to the point where he was forced to declare bankruptcy. Now, she found that she was the one who had nothing.

Now, the tables were drastically turned, and she was desperate for help. She also found out that her parents were unwilling to help her but, fortunately for her, his family was willing and able to help them through these difficult times despite the fact that she had shunned them and had excluded them from her life.

I wish I could give you a beautiful ending to this story of help but I sadly cannot. Even though Cecilia was assisted through challenging times, once over, she reverted to her true self.

But, this is not the main point of this story.

The real point is that we all need help somewhere along life’s path whether we think we will or not. And, if you are the one giving and helping, just remember this: no matter what happens later, you will always be secure in the fact knowing that you have remained strong and true to assist those that need your help.

If you move through life helping, caring, forgiving, you will always have you’re your own special fan club – it is those who love and respect you no matter if others you have helped may not. Never let others stop you from helping and caring.

“My top resolution is to get more sleep and observe proper diet.”
“My new year’s resolution is to stay positive no matter what.”
“My resolution is to make no resolution as, on the basis of long previous experience, I shall be unable to keep it.”

Personally, I always like to reflect back on some of the things that I learned instead. See my list below:

1. Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a fresh start. Each day is a new beginning. Every morning we wake up is the first day of the rest of our life. Always start your day with a smile and prayer.

2. While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy. This is as true for friendships as it is for intimate relationships. Finding a companion or a friend isn’t about trying to transform yourself into the perfect image of what you think they want. It’s about being exactly who you are and then finding someone who appreciates that.

3. Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

4. Someone will always be better looking. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be more charismatic. But they will never be you – with your exact ideas, knowledge and skills.

5. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try. Everyone makes mistakes. If you can’t forgive others, don’t expect others to forgive you.And If you don’t forgive yourself then don’t expect others to accept you as well. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

6. Feelings change, people change, and time keeps rolling. You can hold on to past mistakes or you can create your own happiness. True happiness comes from within. Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy. Happinesse is a choice, not a miracle.

7. Reconnecting with old friends is always a pleasure. Spending lengthy quality time with them is a privilege.

8. You can’t take things too personally. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.

9. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.

10. True family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. And sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.

There are many things that I’m grateful also for this year.

Today, most of all, I’m thankful for my friends and family, who put up with me despite my boundless faults and flaws. I am thankful for love and good people in my life that surround me with it. Overall good health. Being alive, being free, having food, having shelter, having a job, having love, hope, compassion, generosity.  Above all, I’m thankful to God for keeping my loved ones healthy, safe and happy!

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

Value your life, don’t lose it. Don’t even think of suicide because many people wished they had enough time to accomplish their dreams. You still have a chance to do that so why give up?

Value your freedom because so many people are willing to spend all they have to buy their freedom. If you doubt this, go to the prisons.

Value your parents irrespective of their status, whether rich or poor. If you think I’m wrong then go to orphanages and see how the kids wish they had someone they could call mother or father, no matter how bad they are.

Value your friends because they are not easy to come by. Be a good friend too. Be left alone on an island for a year and see if you will not contemplate suicide.

Value the food you eat, no matter how cheap because so many people have enough money to buy it but can’t eat it because of their health.

Value your job because so many jobless people out there envy your job and wish to have it.

Value what you have because you might not have a chance to get it again. They say a bird in hand is worth 10,000 in the bush.

Value the little things you are given because they have the tendency to attract bigger ones.

Value yourself, value people and value the things around you, no matter how little. That’s the best way to live and enjoy life.

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life”. This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, reassure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time…and remember that time waits for no one…

So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy..

You never know who these people may be – a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger – but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live!

Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.

Think About it? Was it worth it?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say,

“I used everything you gave me”

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

Forgiveness is difficult. And confusing.

First clarification: Forgiveness is different from Friendship. When you forgive someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be friends with him again. Forgiveness and friendship are two different things that require two different decisions. Don’t confuse the two. Second clarification: Don’t rush to forgive if the wound is grave.  When the hurt is very deep, don’t forgive right away. When someone hurts you deeply, God doesn’t require that you forgive right away. When your husband commits adultery, or when an uncle molests you, or when a friend betrays you…. God doesn’t require that you drive out your feelings of anger “right now”.  Why? Because we’re not robots with push buttons on our chest. In fact, God knows that we need to get angry for a while as part of our healing. By getting angry, we restore our dignity. By getting angry, we love ourselves. By getting angry, we say, “What you did to me was terribly wrong. You violated me.” I repeat: The process of getting angry (for a while) is part of your healing. Anger is like a medicine with an expiration date. Before that expiration date, anger is medicine. After that expiration date, anger becomes poison. At the right time, God will ask you to surrender your anger.

Let go and forgive, God will be your vindicator. God saw you when you were offended, abandoned and hurt. Let God handle your case. Put the situation in His hands and you will receive double than what you’ve lost . He’ll make your wrongs right. He’ll return what the enemy has stolen. He’ll even the score. If you want to be happy in your life, you need to have a forgiving attitude. Why? Because you live amidst imperfect people.  You were born into an imperfect family, with imperfect parents, with imperfect siblings. Announcement: You’re imperfect too! (Unless you happen to be a perfect alien from a perfect planet.)  Everyday, you’ll get hurt. Someone will step on your toe. Someone will stab your back. Someone will kick your behind. Someone will prick your pride. Someone will slander your name. That’s why Jesus said, forgive seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22) That number is a Biblical symbol for “forever”. Believe me, if you don’t have a forgiving attitude, you can’t enjoy any imperfect relationship.

Unforgiveness is taking matters in your hands. Forgiveness is taking matters into God’s hands. Let’s forgive, move on with our life and let God pay you.  And bless all those who have offended you. And believe that you’ll receive double of what you have lost.

Filed under: Reflection Tagged: Acceptance, Bible, Bo Sanchez, Forgiveness, God speak, Happiness, love ]]> https://jabelah.wordpress.com/2011/11/28/the-sand-of-forgiveness/feed/ 4 jabelah Carve Your Blessings in Stone forgiveness https://jabelah.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/i-have-learned/ https://jabelah.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/i-have-learned/#comments Sun, 20 Nov 2011 23:58:38 +0000 Jabelah http://jabelah.wordpress.com/?p=845 ]]> I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

And Most of ALL

But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn’t play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around.”

His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”

His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.”

Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class.”

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy’s. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, “Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.” After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her “teacher’s pets.”

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer – the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.”

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.”

A good teacher is like a candle – it consumes itself to light the way for others.

One day, a wife came to her husband with a magazine in her hand, “Darling, this article is wonderful. It describes a little activity that we can both do to improve our marriage. Can we do it together?”

“Sure,” her husband said.

“It says here that for one day, each of us will separately write a list of what areas we want the other to change. Little annoyances, little irritations, etc. And then tomorrow, we share this list to each other. Deal?”

“Deal!” the husband smiled.

That day, the man sat on the living room with paper and hand. The wife went to the bedroom and did the same thing.

The next day, over breakfast, the wife said, “Game? Can I start first?”

“Yes,” the husband said.

The wife pulled out three pages. Single spaced. Font 8. It was a long list. She began to read her list. “Darling, I don’t like it when you do this…” On and on, she read the little ways her husbands annoyed her.

The man felt a sting in his heart. The wife noticed this and asked, “Do you want me to continue?”

“I can handle it. Go on,” the man said.

So the wife continued to read.

Finally, the woman said, “Okay, it’s your turn.”

The husband pulled out his piece of paper and said, “Yesterday, I asked the question what are the changes I want in you. But hard as I tried to think, I couldn’t think of one thing.” He then showed to her the empty piece of paper in his hand. “Because to me, you’re perfect in your imperfections.   I’ve accepted who you are—strengths and weaknesses. And I love the whole package. I love the mix. You are a wonderful person and I love you so much.”

The wife began to sob, rolled up her three pages in her hand, and beat her husband on the head, “Bwiset ka!” And hugged him tight for a very long time.

We want to fix people because we love them. But sometimes, our motives aren’t pure. Sometimes, we want to fix our loved ones because of shame. We’re ashamed of what other people will say about our kids, our siblings, our spouses, and our parents. Another reason of our “fixing other people” tendencies is we’re afflicted with the disease called comparisonities. Someone told me that marriage is like going to a restaurant. After you ordered your dish, you learn what the other table ordered, and suddenly regret what you ordered. Believe me, this urge to compare causes so much misery in marriages. If you always compare your wife’s body with Beyonce or Angel Locsin, she can’t compete. Or if you compare your husband’s salary with Manny Paquiao’s earnings, he can’t compete. Many times, we compare our spouse to someone who doesn’t exist. For example, we fantasize about Hollywood stars who aren’t real. Because all their blemishes were removed by photoshop and a huge PR company.

Before you get married, you should be very careful in evaluating your future spouse. Check everything. Values. Background. Preferences. Reactions. Beliefs. Examine everything! But when you get married, stop evaluating. Stop critiquing. It’s now time to stop fixing the other person and start appreciating the entire person in his totality. Remove the robes of the courtroom judge. Instead, put on the robes of a painter capturing the beauty of a scene. An artist simply accepts what is and nurtures a gratitude for what is there. When you accept the other person and become grateful for him, a great miracle happens: The person learns to accept himself too and thus bring healing of his Heart Wound. Changes begin to take place spontaneously.

What You Like And What You Don’t Like. Maybe one And the same thing. I have mixed feelings about my cellphone. I like it and I don’t like it. Here’s what I noticed: The very features that I like are the very same features that I don’t like. Absurd but true. Why do I like my phone? I like the fact that I can call up the 954 people in my phone directory anytime. Useful when I have a flat tire, when I need a prayer, or when I’m on the rooftop because of Typhoon Ondoy. Why do I not like my phone? I don’t like the fact that these 954 people can call me up at anytime—even when I’m lying on a hammock in a tiny island far out in the Pacific Ocean. Question: Have you ever had the absurd experience of leaving your cellphone at home and having to make a U-turn to come back for it? Nuts, right? Cellphones are now like one of our kidneys. You can still survive if it gets lost, but it’ll be risky. I repeat: The very things that I like are the very same things that I don’t like. Funny, but this is also true with our relationships…

Why Did You Fall In Love? Don’t be shocked, but the very thing that made you crazy for a person will be the very same thing that will drive you crazy in the years to come.  I’m not kidding.  If you fell in love with your wife because she was bubbly and the life of the party, today, you want to zip her mouth so that there would be world peace.  If you fell in love with your husband because he was quiet, strong, and steady as a rock, today, you want to curse him for being so cold and unresponsive—like you’re talking to a rock.  If you fell in love with your wife because of her stunning beauty, today, you find yourself pulling your hair in the car, waiting for her because she takes 3 hours just to dress up and put on her make-up. Remember, every strength has a weakness.

To repeat my million-dollar point: If you want to have happy relationships, you’ll have to stop trying to fix people and start appreciating them. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor”; He didn’t say, “Fix your neighbor.”

Two reasons why you need to stop fixing people.

First, you can’t.

Second, I’ve realized that people are like old houses. If one thing gets fixed, another thing gets broken.

Remember, you can never fix anyone because fixing is an inside job. Never forced from the outside. You should inspire. You should guide. You should teach. But you cannot force. At the end of the day, the only thing you can do is to love and appreciate the person by creating space for the other person to fix himself.